Quiz #15. Old Dogs
Can you teach an old dog new tricks? Celebrating Old-Timers in Steve’s Stay-at-Home Coronavirus Quiz for March 31, 2020
I work in TV News. From 1985 to 1999, I worked at Action News, the local news for what used to be known as “Channel Six,” the ABC station in Philadelphia, serving the Delaware Valley. For the last few years, a group of Action News “Old Timers” has gotten together in June for a reunion luncheon at a Philadelphia-area restaurant. This year, I decided to try to expand the event and in January, I booked a suite at a Phillies game on June 10th, a Wednesday afternoon game against the Cubs. By February, more than 30 people had signed up for the Action News Old-Timers Day at Citizens Bank Park.
I used a Google Form to track the invitations (of course) and in emails and Facebook messages, I urged people who’d signed up for the game to share the form and invite other old timers they knew who might want to join us. In January, February and, yes, March, I’d hear from “new” old timers who wanted to come. On March 12, one day after an NBA player tested positive for coronavirus, Major League Baseball announced that Opening Day was being pushed back two weeks. A few days later, on March 16, that date was pushed back indefinitely. My last “acceptance” to the Action News Old Timers reunion came the next day, on March 17. Back then, I took that as an affirmation that surely baseball would be back by June 10. It seemed an unthinkable thought that it might not be possible to get together at a baseball game in June. In fact, when the start of the baseball season was first postponed, I remember one of my first thoughts was that the planned June get-together might be even more poignant and powerful. Heck, I thought, it might even have been the new Opening Day.
For now, of course, baseball and the reunion--and much of life is on hold. The last thing old timers need to do right now is get together in a group at a large event. And yet in the mail yesterday, I got a check from someone to pay for their ticket. I’m holding the money from those who’ve paid and, just as we all do every winter, we’ll wait for baseball to be back. (If anyone wants or needs a refund, just let me know.)
While it seems impossible to imagine going to a baseball game, it seems almost thoughtless with all that’s going on. Surely, there are more important things than a lost reunion. This morning, Tuesday March 31 (a day after my father’s birthday) I texted Annie, my daughter, knowing she’d be on the subway and on her way to work as a psychiatric social worker at a NYC hospital. I reminded her of the graffiti she’d spotted on the subway four days ago on Thursday. It read, “F*ck th virus.” This morning, I sent Annie four short texts: “‘F*ck the virus.’” “That is all;” “For now.” “Love you.” Annie responded with a picture of new graffiti she’d spotted this morning. It read, “This is not life?”
“This is not life?” That’s a bold statement---and a profound question. From my perch here as a 63-year-old stay-at-home stayin’-alive grandfather, I’m here to tell you that this IS life. You cannot control the crap that life throws your way, You've simply got to grin and bear it--and sometimes that's hard, very hard. Brutal, bittersweet but--yes--beautiful.
Sitting here, writing down my daily thoughts, I was reminded of a photo book we have. It’s called “Old Dogs: Are the Best Dogs.” It features sixty black-and-white photographs of old dogs from photographer Michael S. Williamson. The text is from Gene Weingarten of the Washington Post. The book is a tribute to old dogs and Weingarten’s text reminds us of what old dogs teach us about time. A dog’s life span is much shorter than our own so that as they age, if you pay attention, you can see the arc of your own life, compressed into the 10 to 15 years that you might be lucky to have if your dog makes it that long.
Here’s what the book reviewer for Amazon wrote:
Anyone who has ever loved an old dog will love ‘Old Dogs.’ In this collection of profiles and photographs, Weingarten and Williamson document the unique appeal of man's best friend in his or her last, and best, years.
This book is a tribute to every dog who has made it to that time of life when the hearing and eyesight begin to go, when the step becomes uncertain, but when other, richer traits ripen and coalesce. It is when a dog attains a special sort of dignity and a charm all his own.
It is a special cruelty of coronavirus that it strikes the old dogs among us the hardest. That’s grim and the projected numbers are staggering. And yet, I’m here to tell you that we’re all just fighting to stay alive and maybe make the world a better place. For me, even now--and especially now--I’m also working to make myself a better person. Reformed and always reforming. Maybe you can teach an old dog new tricks.
What did NOT happen?
A. Getting ready for social isolation, one of the items I stockpiled was prunes. In stressful times in my life, I’ve found that I usually internalize things. Prunes help, but last week, I ran out of the ones we’d bought on our last trip to the grocery store on March 13. This weekend, Sara found an old plastic container of prunes when she took inventory of our basement pantry which we keep stocked even in normal times. These old prunes have a “packaged-on” date of August, 2018. I’ve been eating them since Saturday without incident;
B. My one outside activity of the day is walking our not-so-old dogs, Happy and Stella. I hate having things in my pockets so on these now extended walks, I use an old fanny pack from my father to hold my iPhone plus the poop bags and throw toys for the dogs;
C. I work from home and am using a MAC laptop for the first time. As I’ve gotten older, I have noticed my hands are just a little bit unsteady. It took me a week to realize that the pinkie on my left hand was pressing the “Esc” key, shutting down whatever program I was working on. (I thought the MAC was broken.);
D. As I have gotten older, I have found that the index finger on my left hand shakes just a little when I get stressed. Spending 15 hours a day on my laptop, my index finger serves as a barometer for when I need to take a break;
E. I’m spending so much time on my laptop that my right wrist has started to ache. Yesterday morning, Sara suggested that I start wearing an old wrist guard that she had in the upstairs medical/linen closet. She was working so I went upstairs and fished out a brace I found in the closet. The straps seemed a little odd, but I wore it all day and it really helped. Before she went to bed, Sara came into my office (our guest room) to say good night. She looked at the brace--and told me it was a brace she’d worn for her foot. That’s why the straps were odd. Oh well.
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Here’s the next quiz in the series: Quiz #16. Dumb Kids (April Fools).
Here’s the previous quiz in the series: Quiz #14. Autocorrect.
Here’s the first quiz in the series: Quiz #1. Stella and Social Distancing, March 13, 2020
The quiz is explained here: Steve’s Stay-at-Home Coronavirus Quiz.
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