“It’s not Chernobyl.”
That’s what I have been telling family and friends over the last few weeks as the coronavirus has spread. That is, it’s not a silent killer that’s in the air, unseen and unknown--a danger everywhere you go, inside or out. My reassurances went something like this: if you can practice social distancing and limit your exposure to other people you can keep yourself safe. A walk outside is ok, just keep your distance from other people.
I’m lucky--very lucky--because I can work remotely with my current job responsibilities. I’ve been doing that since last Tuesday, the 10th which feels like another lifetime ago. Still, in the last 8 days, except for one quick trip to the grocery store for perishables with Sara, I’ve had no interactions with anyone other than Sara, Will and Betsy. I walk the dogs twice daily and for the last week, there’s been an unseen radar that exists as I pass people on the sidewalk or out in their yard. Without saying a word, we all know to stay a good 10 feet apart. As for my family and me, we have enough food so we really don’t need to leave the house for a month so I’ve felt safe--at least for us.
But then along came “shelter in place”--the phrase of the day yesterday, Tuesday, March 17th, St. Patrick’s Day. Monday, San Francisco had issued an order for residents to stay inside for all but essential needs. Tuesday, Mayor de Blasio warned that shelter in place might be coming soon to NYC. The virus is spreading at exponential rates and with the delays in testing as more people are confirmed as positive, sheltering in place will flatten the curve and help mitigate potential overloads at hospitals.
So, what to do? We were already sheltering in place--and that’s when the logic of my Chernobyl reassurances began to fall apart. Shelter in place is not about protecting yourself from a lurking and unseen something--it’s about protecting yourself from an unknown someone. The phrase “shelter in place” is so alarming and upsetting because it’s what you’re supposed to do when there’s an active shooter. You don’t leave your classroom or office because the shooter might be outside with a gun. You hide, protect yourself and shelter in place.
But as horrible as hiding from an active shooter must be, sheltering in place for coronavirus is frightening in a whole new way. With the virus, you don’t know who you’re supposed to be hiding from. When you come out from behind the door, you don’t know who’s safe--and who’s not.
What’s more, if a person is contagious for coronavirus before they show symptoms, they themselves don’t even know that they’re the one you should be hiding from.. And because there can be a lag between when you’re contagious and when you find out you have coronavirus (if you’re somehow able to get tested and get results), then there can be a lag before you know if the people you’ve had close contact with--and the people they’ve had close contact with--are contagious. The social mapping of figuring out who had contact with an infected person happens after they’ve been diagnosed. It looks backwards--and that’s not helpful as you’re trying to look forward, navigating your future and trying to figure out who you need to stay away from as you isolate yourself and shelter in place
The discussion of a NYC order to shelter in place also raised alarm bells for us with Annie, John and Betsy. Annie works in a NYC hospital and is acting on the assumption that she’s been exposed. Because she’s an essential hospital worker, she still needs to report for work.
Some hospital patients and staff have tested positive--and she’s worried. She can’t really shelter in place because she’s needed at the hospital. John’s been in a NYC apartment that he just moved into last weekend, working remotely. We just decided today he’d be safer with us here in New Jersey. Sara drove into NYC and picked up John tonight, Wednesday, March 18th. She never opened the window and waited outside for John to join us. His biggest worry: that he would infect us. We talked it over with him and he even conferred with Betsy. We gave her the same offer to ride out the storm with us, but she decided to try to remain in her apartment Hoboken where the mayor has asked people to shelter in place and that’s what she’s doing--for now. She’s offered to drive into NYC to get Annie if needed. Sara and Will started working from home this week with me. In our family, as in yours, everyone’s doing their best to protect themselves.
But where does shelter in place end? When is it safe to peak outside the door? How will we know? More important, what if, despite our precautions, Sara and I get the virus? And finally, what will we do if one of the kids gets coronavirus outside our safe bubble here?
I don’t have the answers and I had trouble sleeping last night for the first time this month--something that’s pretty unusual for me. I woke up agitated and unloaded my questions and fears on Sara. After coffee and a talk with her, I felt better. Sara told me afterward, she’d applied psychological first-aid (PFA). First, she listened to me and calmed me down; then she steered me towards taking on a concrete task that might help me, and then, once I finished the task, I felt in control and competent.
In times of stress, I turn to Amazon--and that’s one concrete thing I did this morning. Getting things helps me feel safe and prepared for anything--especially if we have to shelter in place for a while. I don’t know when it will end, but in the last month, I’ve ordered a bunch of things to get ready.
What did NOT happen?
What did I NOT order from Amazon in the last two weeks?
A. Two dongles so I could connect my work MAC to either a USB port or ethernet cable;
B. A 10-pack of ethernet cables and a 5-way ethernet splitter in case we need to hardwire computers to the internet for everyone in the family;
C. Prunes;
D. A wooden caddy to hold my laptop on the bed in the guest room that I am using as an office. (I spotted it on the TODAY “Stuff We Love” email--and TODAY got a rev share from my purchase.);
E. New underwear.
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Want more?
Here’s the next quiz in the series: Quiz #6. “How You Doin’?”
Here’s the previous quiz in the series: Quiz #4. ”OK Boomer.”
Here’s the first quiz in the series: Quiz #1. Stella and Social Distancing, March 13, 2020
The quiz is explained here: Steve’s Stay-at-Home Coronavirus Quiz.
Here is an archive of all the quizzes.
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