Quiz #80. "Waiting"
What wisdom did I get from the dry cleaners and why did a front-lawn sign make me angry? Steve's Stay-at-Home Coronavirus Quiz for August 16, 2020.
Signs.
I like to look for them.
To know what’s going to happen--and hopefully before everyone else.
To be ready--and maybe to say, “I told you so.”
I’ve spent much of this pandemic looking for signs.
Will the number of deaths go up two weeks after the numbers of people hospitalized hit record numbers? See Quiz #70 Twitter-. A no-brainer.
Will the baseball season be shut down because the Florida Marlins played the Philadelphia Phillies on Sunday, July 26th, one hour after tests revealed a COVID outbreak on the Marlins. In Quiz #75. I’m Sorry, I worried that an on-field spread from the asymptomatic players on the Marlins to players on the Phillies would be the sign that baseball needed to shut down. Solid reasoning--but it never happened and, despite some false positive tests for the Phillies in the days that followed, their season and that of MLB wanders onward.
It’s been more than a week since I’ve written a quiz. Part of the reason is that I am simply tired of looking for signs.
Maybe you noticed something from the previous quiz, Quiz #79. Power. It’s a sign that hangs in our kitchen, visible in a picture in that quiz over the extension cords we used to power the house from the generator on the driveway after the remnants of Hurricane Isaias knocked out power up and down the East Coast.
The sign reads, “If you were waiting for a sign—this is it.” It was a Father’s Day present from Sara to me a number of years ago.
To me now, this is the sign of these times. Sunday, August 16th, 2020 in the time of COVID as the disease shows no signs of letting up, a vaccine remains on the still uncertain horizon and both parties set to begin their conventions to highlight their plans and vision for America with the 2020 Election now 79 days away.
Someday, it will all be over--but to me, there are no signs now of how this will all end and go away.
This is it--and I am waiting.
Waiting for all this to be over.
On Sunday, August 9th, Sara and I took a drive. We literally had no agenda. No destination. Nowhere we wanted to go. We’d come to an intersection and take turns deciding whether we’d turn left or right. We just wanted to get out of the house and drive. Wandering through some nearby suburbs, I spotted what looked like a very cute, hand-drawn rainbow sign on the front lawn of a house. Underneath a multi-colored rainbow, the apparent child had seemingly drawn the face of a person in crayon. And yet, as we continued to drive, I kept seeing what looked like that same sign. Had it been assigned as a school project? Maybe something from summer camp? Draw a picture of yourself under a rainbow and post it out in front of your house.
As we drove some more, I realized it was the same seemingly hand-drawn sign, repeated over and over. It made me angry. Why take something whose very appeal was that it was the handmade work of a child--and then reproduce it so every sign looked exactly the same? This wasn’t artwork. This was a fraud. Parental propaganda perhaps. The handi-work of a child--or so we are led to assume--mass produced by an adult. As I voiced my anger to Sara, I stopped the van and Sara begrudgingly took a picture of the sign. She also reprimanded me, “Why can’t you be happy? How can a sign of a rainbow make you angry?”
Upon closer examination, the sign is a fundraiser for the auxiliary of the local hospital. The artwork, per Google, was designed by an assistant art professor.
In my wanderings through social media this week, I stumbled onto an August 15th click-bait post about “Seinfeld” on cheatsheet.com from Amanda Harding. Its headline promised to reveal Jerry Seinfeld’s least favorite episode of the series. It was based on a comment Seinfeld had made discussing the show on “Watch What Happens Live.” The episode was “The Alternate Side,” Season 3, Episode 11. In an episode about a parking snafu, Elaine’s boyfriend has a stroke and the cast ends up feeding him on the couch. “It made me very uncomfortable,” Seinfeld told Andy Cohen, per Harding.
Harding then had a discussion about the series finale. According to Harding, Larry David who had left the show after Season 7, came back to write the finale. It followed two rules he had for the show.
David had two rules for Seinfeld writers: no hugging and no learning. He didn’t want Seinfeld to become some feel-good show preaching moral messages for the masses. Instead, he injected his comedy with the outlook of jaded, potentially nihilistic New Yorkers.
“Seinfeld” was not a moral tale. The characters learned nothing. They only cared about themselves--and that never changed right up to the end. If you remember the finale, they all end up in jail, guilty of having violated a Good Samaritan law, making fun of a carjacking victim because he was overweight. Harding pointed out that some had joked that the series finales for “Seinfeld” and “The Sopranos” should be reversed. Tony Soprano should have ended up in jail and Jerry Seinfeld and his crew should have just stopped in a diner. No explanation. Nothing--in a show, famously, about nothing.
The genius of the ending in “The Sopranos” is that there was no sign that this was the end for Tony. It just happened. His life stopped. Sometimes, life (and death) are like that.
To be clear, I don’t think this pandemic will never end or that it will end in the death of us all--it’s just that I don’t see how it all ends. Clearly, there will be a vaccine, but when? Will it work? Will our government be able to figure out how to safely distribute it? Will some Americans refuse to get vaccinated just as they have refused to wear masks?
Oh yeah, and there’s the election. Mail-in-ballots? Slow down at the Postal Service? Again, I don’t see how it ends. I cannot read the signs--and I am tired of trying.
On Tuesday, August 11th, I took my first trip to the dry cleaners since March. Working from home, I have not needed a dress shirt since then. And yet, while wearing t-shirts every day has been comfortable and easy, it's been devastating for a small business like the dry cleaners. Before the start of Fall and the potential rise in flu cases, Sara and I wanted to get to the dry cleaners. Sara also wanted to get our comforters cleaned before we need them this Winter. The Asian husband and wife who run the business were happy to see me again. Their front door was open with a fan on, a plastic panel was at the cash register and there were markings on the floor for socal distance. Their business has survived so far.
I asked the wife how they were doing. English is her second language, but her response was perfectly clear, “Waiting.”
What did NOT happen?
A. Will went to visit college friends last weekend and has quarantined all week in his basement apartment with a refrigerator and shower. When he came home, I was happy to have him settle a dispute which Sara and I had while he was away. Was it a breakout of measles or mumps which had hit Syracuse University in his Junior year? He texted, “Mumps.” (I was right.);
B. Betsy’s dogs, Fred and Brownie, made their first trip back to our house this weekend. When Betsy had taught 4th grade and they still had class-room instruction inside the school in our town, Betsy would drop off Fred and Brownie for doggie-daycare. That all ended in March, but this weekend, Betsy took a trip with Annie to visit life-long friend Amanda so Sara and I watched her dogs;
C. College friend Brooks emailed this week with this assessment of the baseball season,
Ok. A few weeks in and I’m loving it. No fans in the stadiums does not bother me at all. Not enthusiastic about the cardboard cutouts in some stadiums, but the fake game noise does not bother me at all. It’s a weird season no doubt, but why not try it? It is largely working. Am I missing something here?
D. On Saturday, August 15th, I got word from the Phillies on the location for my cardboard cutout at CItizens Bank Park. I am seated in Section 232, on the third base side. Row 32, Seat 28;
E. Since the start of the pandemic, I’ve had a slight tremor in my left hand. It started with my pinkie and moved to my index finger. I went to the doctor this week on Wednesday, August 12th, to see if she could tell me what was wrong? Stress? Too much coffee? Pinched nerve? Too much typing on the laptop? Something worse? They’re doing tests--and we’re waiting.
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Want more?
Here’s the next quiz in the series: Quiz #81. Tremor.
Here’s the previous quiz in the series: Quiz #79. Power.
Here’s the first quiz in the series: Quiz #1. Stella and Social Distancing, March 13, 2020
Here is an archive of all the quizzes.
The quiz is explained here: Steve’s Stay-at-Home Coronavirus Quiz.
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